ON A PATH TO RUIN

I yelled at her but she knew. She understood. 

 "Is it about the NEET tutor issue?

"Yeah but I already knew it's coming. He told us before leaving."

"Then you must be aware that there must be a reaction for his actions too. Don't worry. You are not the only one. Even in my domain staffs had been called."

"What about you?"

"I didn't submit any but they didn't call me."

"Your friends at the office must have helped I guess."

"I'm not sure. Nobody told anything about it. I asked why they didn't call but they said just be happy that you didn't get caught and ignore it."

"Lucky ass."

"Hehe! I guess you got more comfortable with me."

"A bit."

"So what's your plan? Are you going tomorrow?"

"Otherwise I won't get fifty percent of my salary until I provide it."

"Ok. Can I go with you?" 

"It's not nearby to commute in a single day by public transport. I have to different buses to get there. Huh! I should've got my bike on the first day itself."

"Why you didn't?"

"I carried luggages so my brother dropped me on the day."

"Ok then... Do you want me to drop you to the bus station?"

"Nah. I can manage." 

"When will you leave?"

"Maybe around 8 in the morning."

"Ok. Text me when you leave."

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye."

T'Nana was also moving to her native tomorrow for the same reason. She left around 5 a.m. I woke up the next day and got ready.

*Phone rings*

"Hey! Where are you?"

"In the dorm. About to leave now."

"What about me?"

"???"

"I want to see your native."

"We won't have much time to explore."

"I'm fine with that."

"Fine then"

"Yayyy! I'll be there in 15 minutes. See ya"

She reached at the gate to pick me. 

We reached the bus station. She was worn out by an hour. The bus was crowded as it was peak hours. She never travelled in bus or left her hometown before. She used to go by her scooter everywhere so she felt uncomfortable. I finally found her an empty seat. She sighed of relief. I stood next to her. 

I bent near to her ear and said,

"My lifestyle is quite different, and it might not align well with what you're looking for. I just want to make sure you're fully aware of what you're stepping into."

"Can't you see? I'm already learning it." 

"Will see how far you can go."

"You will."

We almost reached my home by afternoon after 4 hours of travel. My mom was there unexpectedly. She scolded me for troubling Reira to come along all the way but she defended me. We got my University ID and left. She didn't eat from the morning at all. We were in a hurry because the university closing time was by 4 p.m. 

We reached there around 2.30. I was nervous a bit because last time when I was here, I used to follow the university dress code and had long hair. Reira told me to relax. We met my final year lecturer. She asked who was with me. I kept quiet but Reira told she was my colleague. We wrote a letter and gave it. 

After some procedures we got the certificate and returned back home, had lunch. It was almost 4.30 p.m. We left to the bus station. It was crowded because of weekend She hesitated to get into the crowd. We waited for a long time there but not much of a change in the situation. She decided to get in. Her second brother called her soon after found out that she wasn't back home yet. She did not say a word after that call. I thought she was afraid. 

"How did you manage to come today?"

"Dad knows that you are important to me from that day we went to the hospital. As I said, I never done that to anyone." 

*Brakes squeal*

Before I could think, she was in arms in an instant. Her weight pressed against me as she clung tightly, her fingers gripping my shirt like a lifeline. Her wide eyes met mine. My right arm went around her shoulder as a reflex to protect her.

“You okay?” I murmured.

She nodded and let herself lean into the safety of the moment. She’s too small to comfortably reach or grip the tall pole for balance. Instead, she clinged to my hand, her small fingers wrapped around mine. My hand became her anchor, steady and reassuring, ensuring she feft secure even with the jolts of the ride. It’s a quiet but powerful act of care, silently telling her, “I’ve got you.”

We reached back around 10.30 p.m which is considered as late night. She dropped me off at the dorm and rushed back to her home. I took my bags to the upstairs. Alice opened to door. I got to bed as soon as I changed my cloths. 

*Phone vibrates*

I reached home safe. Brothers are not here. Dad received me and didn't ask me anything about today yet 

Ok go to bed. See you tomorrow. Good night.

Good night. 

The next day I provided my certificates to the admin office and got back to the class. Everything was set. I felt relieved. 

I went to computer lab in the evening after my working hours to prepare questions for the upcoming exam. Reira was also there to do the same. I took the system next to hers.

"Hey!"

"Hey Hi. Finally you found the way here."

"Yeah. Haven't been here before. I prefer to use voice type on my phone instead."

"Smart work huh!"

"Yep. So what happened yesterday?"

"Second brother asked about us to dad why am I doing all this to you out of the blue."

"Oh. They start noticing your change."

"Yeah. Me too. I only realise it when others mention it."

Someone enters the lab searching for Reira.

"Reira mam. Shall we move?"

"Yes mam. Please go ahead. I'll follow you."

"Ok mam I'll wait at the parking lot."

I assumed she might be one of her friends and they both lives nearby so they'll leave together. 

"Are you done here?"

"Almost."

"I'll wait for you then." 

"You can go. She is waiting for you for a while now."

"Nah she will be fine."

Everyone else left one by one. We were alone.

"Done. Lets go." I turned of the system. 

"Yeah."

We turned off all the light as we were the last to leave. It became dark. I was about the pull the exit door. Reira grabbed my hand to stop me.

"I want that again."

"Want what?"

"A kiss."

End of chapter 

Stay tuned.

Looking forward to your comments. 

So that I can know that you are actually reading. 

RECKLESS REACTIONS

We got up from the bed, checked our cloths, hair and everything. I sat on the bed. Reira opened the door. It was Nanas. They didn't expect her to get the door.

T'Nana: Mam!

"Uhh! I just got here to check on her before leaving."

T'Nana: Ok mam no problem.

"Ok then. I'll excuse myself."

T'Nana: She acts weird.

B'Nana: Mam. When did she come here?

"As she said, she just stopped buy."

B'Nana: Hope it won't become a regular practise.

T'Nana: It won't. 

B'Nana: Hope you noticed the cctv camera towards our door.

T'Nana: Uhh! Shall we move to get some tea?

"You guys can go. I'll follow you afterwards."

B'Nana: Ok

*Phone rings* 

"Hey! How's it going there? Are they with you now? Can you talk?"

"They all left to drink tea."

"Did they ask anything about us?"

"What do you think you are doing? Don't you know what you have done is wrong?"

"What did I do?"

"Why messing up your work schedules with others?"

"Actually I was also sick today. I vomitted more than twice. My coordinator gave permission to rest at the dorm today. So don't worry. There won't be a problem."

"You were sick?"

"Yes but I recharged myself there anyway."

"You must stop."

"Stop what? Walking?

"????"

"I'm on foot to the parking." 

"Ok. Text me when you reach home."

"Alright. Goodbye."

I went to the dinning hall to have tea. Nanas where in a middle of a convo about LGBTQ. 

T'Nana: I support LGBTQ. What about you Nana? 

B'Nana: Same for me.

I ignored their conversation as I know they're plotting for me to open up with them. I sat there poured my tea and waiting for it to cool down a bit. 

*Phone rings*

"I just got home. What are you doing?"

"Tea."

"Ok. My dad is making it for me."

"Oh. Where is your mom then?"

"She is bedridden."

"What happened?"

"She accidentally broke her nerves on her feet. Also she was overweight. If she tries to walk, it will damage the veins more. So..."

"How come that makes her bedridden?"

"She was depressed. She gave up trying to walk and couldn't sit longer. She made herself isolated. I couldn't be there because it was during my board exams and college entrance exams. My brothers literally don't care as they were married and having kids."

"I see."

"Yeah."

"What is your father?"

"He owns a farming land and takes care of it."

"So you are the one who runs the family?"

"Well you can say that. Yearly twice my father harvests his land and get some lumpsome money. He helps too even with cooking. He's makes me breakfast and lunch everyday." 

"Oh cool dad."

"Yeah! he is."

"Where does your brothers live?"

"Both are elder. First elder brother is staying with us but not much of an use. Second elder brother took rental house nearby."

"Ok."

"Hey! My first brother's daughter's first birthday is in two weeks. You must come."

"We have a couple of weeks in between. Will see."

"Please please please. You can make it. It's on Saturday. I wanna introduce you to them."

"I'll try my best."

"Yayyyy!"

"I said that I'll just try. Why do you act crazy just for that?"

"I just know your best. I'm damn sure that you will come"

(And you are a damn crazy idiot) 

"Quit dreaming"

"Nah I couldn't help myself."

"Ok you carry on. I'll hang up. Bye"

"See you."

I hung up the call to drink tea with Nanas. As I won't talk much, just listening to them. They're discussing about medical entrance exam (NEET) tutor who plans to quit the job without informing the management. T'Nana was hoping she might not caught into this mess as she's a close friend of him. He found a better paying institution somewhere else.

In some institutions, teaching staffs should submit some of their original education certificates as a guarantee that we won't quit in the middle of an academic year for students concern. For me I didn't receive graduation certificate yet. The NEET staff didn't submit any as he cannot commute back to his hometown to get them. He was from a different state. He used this situation to his benefits. 

The next day he left the dorm with all his baggage. The management was terrified as they have to replace it with a new staff ASAP. Then Mr. John proposed the new rule.

He couldn't afford to lose any other staffs. So he prepared a list of who didn't submit the certificates and asked them to do immediately. I'm was one of them so he called me to his cabin to ask about it. I explained him that due to Covid pandemic, convocation ceremony had been delayed but he didn't even listen. She told me to take paid off tomorrow to get them. I didn't understand if they're forcefully sending me to get it for him, why it should be a paid off? I have took off work because of him. 

I was stressed out about the situation. In the evening I texted my university lecturer to ask if I can get my certificate. She said yes but I have to provide a request letter why I need it. I agreed as I don't have an option. I studied at my hometown. I hoped I won't accidentally run into someone whom I don't want to see. 

I provide him a request letter regarding my situation but he threw it and mocked but the using the same phrase I used in the letter.

'Please do the needful.'

I got back to my dorm in the evening, threw my stuffs on the floor and sat on the bed. 

*Phone rings*

"Hey! How was your day? Haven't seen you at work! Were you busy?"

"Yeah. I'm irritated already. Don't ask so much questions to make it worse."

End of chapter 

Stay tuned.

Looking forward to your comments. 

So that I can know that you are actually reading.

FORSAKEN INTENSION

The next day morning When I woke, everyone left to work already. I didn't know when they left. I wasn't recovered enough to go down to the dinning hall for breakfast. I slept again. I heard someone knocking the door. When I opened the door, she was there with a warm smile, holding breakfast she made for me. She gently sets it beside me, her touch comforting. 

"I thought you could use some extra care today," she says softly, her love clear in her actions.

"Don't you have classes today?"

"I do. I asked someone to take care of it for a while."

"Don't get into trouble again."

"Ah ah will see. Just eat what I got for now and no need to go down for lunch. I will get them for you. Don't forget to take the pills. Where is it? I'll keep them near you."

"Top shelf right corner."

"Why you keep everything on top?"

"Because that's where I wanna be."

"Of course you do. Here."

"You don't have to come back. I can eat at the dinning hall."

"Just shut up. I'll be back soon." 

She left the room. I checked what she got for me. It was chicken soup, chapati roll with fruit jam and a glass of warm milk. I had them and slept again but forgot to take pills. Again she came after few minutes she asked me if I took the pills. She made sure that I had them and left. Later Reira came again.

"Hey! How are you feeling now? Any better? 

She checked my temperature by placing her hands on my cheeks, forehead and neck. I grabbed her hand and pulled her closer. 

"You aren't gonna let me rest, are you?

She closed her eyes, ready to receive a kiss as I was too close. 

"I didn't brush my teeth yet."

She pecked on my lips.

"You will get sick."

"I don't mind." 

She grabbed my neck pulled me closer her lips touched mine were warm, soft yet deliberate, like a whisper spoken without words. The warmth spread like a slow-burning ember, igniting every nerve. They lingered with gentle pressure, neither hurried nor hesitant, creating a perfect balance of intimacy and intent. It was as though the world stilled, the only sensation being the delicate connection where our breaths mingled and our souls briefly touched. 

They felt like home—unexpected and perfect, as if they were meant to meet mine all along. 

"Wasn't that bad." We continued to kiss again.

Her hands wrapped around my shoulder. She made an intense eye contact which felt like she saw through me in that gaze. She said "I love you." 

You will never miss an opportunity, won't you? 

"With you I couldn't resist."

"Go back to work now."

"I will...."

"Good."

"be back soon to continue where I left." 

On her way reaching the door.

"Don't. I need to rest."

"Why? Are you tired already?"

"Just leave."

She will return anyway. I was recalling what just happened. There was lot of questions on my mind but none can help I have to find the answer on my own. 

"Man! What have I done? Why did I kiss her? Do I like her or something? How should I react if she comes back again? Maybe I was just sick and needed some warmth. I should sleep now. I must be in good health to think about this."

I heard someone knocking the door again in sleep. Thought it was a dream but no. This time I was terrified to open it. It felt like the door was miles away to reach but it was just two steps ahead. I didn't have the courage to pull the knob. Somehow I managed to get the door but it wasn't her. It was Nanas. 

T'Nana: Hey Sam! Got any better?

"Yes a bit" 

T'Nana: Do u want me to bring lunch for you?

"Thanks but Reira said she will bring them." 

Shit. I said something I shouldn't have.

B'Nana: You let her come inside the dorm?!

"Uhh.. Yeah she was just passing by and came to check on me."

B'Nana: I see. Hope you know that only who lives here are allowed to enter here.

As I didn't respond, they looked at each other.

T'Nana: Ok. You will be fine then. Let's go Nana.

Both left.

Reira came just after they left and just before I shut the door.

"Sorry for being late. Got caught by some work. Are you hungry?" 

"I am." 

"Let's eat together."

"Let me eat first." 

My arm wrapping around her Waist, pulled her closer, brushed a strand of hair from her face, my fingers lingering just a moment too long, as if memorizing the curve of her cheek. We moved closer, our breaths mingling, crowned her forehead with a gentle kiss. I made her sit on my bed and I sat close to her. 

I hesitated to go further, the weight of a thousand unspoken words filling the space between us. She tilted her head slightly, eyes closed, grabbed my hair as a silent invitation. My lips found the curve of her neck. The faint scent of her perfume mingled with the natural warmth of her skin, intoxicating me further. 

I began unbuttoning her over coat. She leaned backward on the bed as the warmth of my breathe on her neck travelled through her spine. Her head touched to the pillow as my hand reached her belly. 

My fingers began to move upward, tracing an invisible path along her skin. Her breath hitched, the rise and fall of her chest responding to the unspoken question in my touch. My hand ventured higher, bringing the distance with a mix of hesitation and desire.

As our love intertwined, the world outside dared to intrude,

*thump thump*

we froze at the sound of a knock, the intensity of the moment replaced by the tension.

End of chapter 

Stay tuned.

Looking forward to your comments. 

So that I can know that you are actually reading. 

EXPLAINING LOVE

"I had no idea you knew each other."

"Yeah. He is like a brother to me." 

"I see. He just started talking about his breakup history. His last girlfriend left because her parents were against it."

(On that day)

He put on some music while we were helping. All the songs were misogynistic and about breakup. We took a break and tea that he arranged for us has arrived.

Sahil: Nana I have a question. I mean to everyone.

B'Nana: Yes. Feel free to ask.

Sahil: I'm just curious that why do a woman brings up family as a reason to breakup. If they know that they won't allow her, why do accept the proposal in the first place?

B'Nana: See. It's not that we say it as an excuse. You need to understand the pressure of her side too.

Sahil: How so?

B.Nana: When a woman openly declares that she has a boyfriend may face various challenges which is more intense than you think. It depends on her social, cultural, and familial background, as well as the region in which she lives. She may be seen as "rebelling" against societal norms or not conforming to traditional gender roles. Parents may pressure her to break up with her boyfriend. This may include verbal abuse, public shaming, or even physical harassment.

T'Nana: The very first thing she will lose is her basic freedom. They'll make her to quit the job and studies. Even restrict her from stepping out of home. This pressure can sometimes lead to forced or early marriages.

Sahil: I understand. I didn't mean that it's wrong. My question is why do they give hope when they already know there is no hope. They must know about their situations before hand right?

B'Nana: They do know but they believe they can convince them when the time comes.

Sahil: But in the end they choose their parents instead.

T'Nana: They will try their best before they give up.

Sahil: Is giving up your partner that easy? If so then why do you people get mad about the lyrics that berate women.

B'Nana: My argument is don't generalize it. 

Sahil: My ex used her family as an excuse to date someone else. Her love is not even true.

B'Nana: How can you say such thing about your ex. Do you think you loved her? If you did you won't bad mouth behind her back.

T'Nana: Nana, tone it down a bit.

Sahil: I'm just exposing what she did. I was left hanging with no reason given. I tried to contact her through her friends. Then she told me not to disturb her friends and she doesn't want to be with me anymore. What do you think is the reason?

B'Nana: I can't judge her until I know her side of the story.

Sahil: Why can't they fight for love?

T'Nana: They will. I know a woman who waited 9 years for her parents approval to marry her man. It also depends on how they grew up. Say for an example, if a girl from rural has migrated to a city commits with a city guy, her family circumstances will be different from the guy. Her family may not be as supportive as the guy's family does.

Sahil: Even if they are not supportive, You have to stand for your love whatever happens, right? That's what true love is. Just like that you mentioned.

B'Nana: Love cannot be defined Sir. Just because they left doesn’t mean they never loved you.

Sahil: Sam don't ignore us. Join the conversation. What's your thought on this? 

Sam: Someone once told me, "I can love you and still let you go." Maybe she left you for your sake. We never know. So I don't judge people who blames the situation to leave. 

Sahil: What is love to you?

Sam: Hmm.... To me, Love is something unconditional. You can feel that true love twice. When it is one-sided and when you let them go. When you are in a relationship, you will expect your partner to love you back, it becomes conditional.

Sahil: Damn! That's deep, but you're making it sound so casual.

Sam: (shrugging, hands in the air)

T'Nana: You have a way of making your few words unforgettable.

Sam: Also I agree with your point that one should never give up on their partner and it doesn't mean they didn't love if they left. I will cherish their memories forever. I don't judge people who blames the situation to leave. 

B'Nana: You took his side. 

Sam: Nope. What I mean is I can understand their situation but they should not give hope if they are not ready to struggle. Also love doesn’t fade or go away when things get tough. Even in difficult times your love for them remains strong. The same goes for guys. Even some guys do that.

T'Nana: Yeah! That's right. 

Sahil: Then you should not generalize men either.

Sam: I depends on their experience towards people. If they had any bad memories about men or woman, they keep their distance. Prevention is always better than cure.

Sahil: What about you? Do you have/had a boyfriend?

Sam: Nah. I'd rather prefer stage one.

Sahil: Haha. You are exceptional.

B'Nana: So Sahil. What is your conclusion now?

Sahil: Guess I shouldn't prejudge and generalize people.

B'Nana: That's good for now.

Sahil: What do you think about same gender love, Nana?

B'Nana: I'm not against it. Why? Are you seeing some guy?

Sahil: Nah. One of my cousins were in live-in with his boyfriend. I knew he will do that for long. Our family doesn't know yet. I have to decide whether to support him or not when he decides to open up.

Sam: (Nah You won't. Misogynist)

"Then we packed up stuffs and left. That's all I can recall from that day. I didn't see him after that until today at the wedding." 

"Yeah! Now I understand why he fell head over heals for you."

"Uhh! Why?"

"It's nothing. Guess what. It's almost dawn now. We spoke all night."

"Almost forgot that I'm sick and you gotta go to work today."

"Yeah, Let's have some sleep."

"Ok. Good night."

"Good night see you soon."

"?????" 

*Hung up.* 

But she knew that I won't be at work.

End of chapter 

stay tuned.

Looking forward to your comments. 

So that I can know that you are actually reading. 

PRISON OF PRETEND

I was so caught off guard by the proposal. I couldn’t find the right words to say. My mind was racing. I wanted to say something meaningful, something that truly reflected how I felt, but everything seemed to get lost in the confusion. I should make a clear rejection and I must not hurt her. I stayed silent, unsure of what to say next, hoping that the words would eventually come to me. 

"I don't do relationships these days. Last time when I did wasn't gone well."

"Ok. I respect your decision."

"Why do you still believe in love?"

"People aren't the same."

"Optimist.."

"Haha Hey Sals.. remember the first time we hung out?"

"When did that happen?"

"Seriously You don't remember at all?"

"I have a bad memory."

"But still stuck to your past." she murmured.

"Ah?"

"It was Diya's marriage." 

"Oh yeah I almost forgot. It was really a worst experience."

"Ahaan I never thought I would be there."

"Yeah me too. Actually Rimma forced me to go. She believed it might be helpful to get along with others but it didn't work."

"So you do remember."

"Yeah.. I never planned to get inside the temple but you dragged me inside."

(Back to that day) 

After work we were getting ready to attend the wedding. I dressed down than others and was judged for that too. I always dressdown. The school arranged a vehicle for all the staff. We visited the nearby temple as we had some hours before the wedding. 

The temple stood gracefully, its ancient stone structure bathed in the soft glow of the setting sun. At its entrance, a serene pond stretched out, its calm water reflecting the temple’s towering spires and intricate carvings. Lotus flowers bloomed in clusters, their vibrant petals adding a touch of color to the tranquil scene. 

Everyone took pictures near the pond. I did the same with Nanas. I felt my energy draining already, and it's getting hard to focus or engage. I just want some quiet space to recharge my social battery. 

I sat near the pond to enjoy the view and my solitude. I heard someone calling out a different name but a familiar voice.

"Hey Sals! long time no see."

"Yeah busy days. Uhhh Sals?"

"That's the nickname I chose for you. Your name begins with SA and you always enjoy solitude. SA+litude, saltude, Sals, Sals sounded just unique like you."

"Unique? Just different."

"That's what makes it unique."

"I have a name already."

"Congratulations on that but I'll call you Sals!"

"You won't listen, would you?"

"um um." She nods.

"I didn't see you in the bus."

"Oh! yes I came here by scooter."

"I see I never knew you were married."

"Hey! she's not my kid one of our colleague's."

"Haha."

"Teasing is your love language I guess."

"Not at all you are just a troll material."

"Ahhhhhhh." (fake cry).

"Hehe."

"You aren't going inside?"

"Nope. I'm fine here."

"Come with me." She pulled me inside.

"Hey slow down."

"Let's take a selfie before that."

"I don't like to be in photos."

"A single picture won't harm you. Come closer."

(We took some pictures. Somehow I always tolerate this woman. That wasn't me.)

As usual she talked non-stop. We returned to the entrance near the van. She left saying bye. Somewhere in the corner of my heart I wanted to go with her but I didn't say anything. I turned back often to check if she followed behind but I couldn't see anyone. 

We reached the marriage hall. I found a corner seat to hid from everyone and of course to save my energy. The next time saw her, she was on the stage to take picture with the couple. I didn't go there because I hate group photos more than a selfie. Everything is done. We returned to the dorm. Finally I can take my breathe, uff! I hit the bed.

*Phone rings*

Give me a break man! I didn't plan to pick up until I saw the name on my screen.

"Hey Sals!"

"Hello!"

"You sound unusual. Are you excited on my call?"

"But you sound usual."

"How?"

"Delusional."

"Hmph. What are you doing?"

"Just lying on bed. I feel lower than usual. Need someone to hug."

"Hug that big Nana of yours." 

I expected a different answer. Like 'You can I don't mind'

''No thanks."

''Get yourself a boyfriend then or maybe a girlfriend.''

"Nah."

"So tell me. What is it? Man or woman?

"Woman maybe."

"What's your type?"

"I don't exactly have a type. I believe in those magical moment of GVM movies."

"Why are you so not interested in love when you can love someone that much?"

"If I do, I'll let the world burn for them but unfortunately that person will become my world. Ironic isn't it?"

"What do you mean by that? Will you hurt them?"

"Nope but that's how it is. Somehow they'll get hurt."

"You are not doing it for yourself huh! You are an Idiot." (Idiot that always think about others)

"Let me be."

"What if someone is willing to burn? Will you burn along with them?

"Such person doesn't exist."

"Someone must be there. Someone to match your craziness because you do exist."

"I don't think so."

"I will stick around to see that then." 

"U can. Why did you call me anyway?"

"Yeah I almost forgot. Do you know art master Sahil?"

"I do. What's with him?"

"He sees you. He asked your contact to me at wedding. Should I give it?"

"Tell him to ask me in person."

"Ok. I wonder why he is interested in your out of nowhere. Did you talk to him by any chance? No you won't. You didn't even talk to girls."

"Uhh! Actually I did once in the night of annual day."

"I see. I never knew." 

"He just needed some help to pack and dispatch stuffs we used for stage decor. Nana asked us to help so we all did."

"Yeah those two were not his type but he won’t fall just because you helped him. Something is fishy. Tell me everything about that day."

End of chapter 

stay tuned.

Looking forward to your comments. 

So that I can know that you are actually reading. 

A WISHPER OF HOPE

A distant voice chattering. It was Nana.

*What? Who is at the gate?* 

"Mam did you ask Reira to come here?"

I wake up suddenly, gasping for breath, voice trembling with panic,

"Is she really here?"

"Yes. She is"

I got some strength out of nowhere. I stood slowly and cautiously descends the stairs, gripping the railing for support, movements were unsteady, with each step. As reached to the ground floor, I saw her walking towards the stairs.

As she walked, eyes fixed on her phone, scrolling through something, suddenly, felt something blocking her path. 

Without warning, she looked up, startled...

She grabbed my right hand's wrist pulled me towards her.

"You Idiot!" barely above whisper, She hugged.

As the hug broke, we both pulled slightly away, but still holding onto. The gaze that followed was typically a mixture of tenderness, warmth, and vulnerability. I grabbed her again closer as I still needed the warmth. 

We realized that we were with Nana and parted away as she looked us confused. Reira received a call from the principal. Back at the gate the guard didn't let her pass through without permission from the higher up. So she spoke with John, the principal. She made quite a scene to get to me.

"What have you done?"

"Relax. I'll handle this." 

She made sit inside the first classroom near us. It was too cold to be in a open space. She rubbed my hands to keep me warm even when she was on phone. She got the permission to take me out of the campus. 

Alice returned with the pills but it's too late. They both tagged along with us. The cab has arrived as we spoke. Reira followed us behind with her scooter. Nana held my hands to keep them warm. 

We all reached there. She took me to the doctor. He asked how do I feel. I looked at her like a child who can't express what's bothering. She understood and spoke in my place. He prescribed injection because it's viral. I'm not afraid of it but still I wanted her to be near me.

She paid the bills and took me near to the cab.

"Stay with me tonight. I can take care of you."

"Reira, that's risky. we haven't got permission for that." -Nana

"Or just ride with me."

"Reiraa... We came to the hospital not to hang out." -Nana 

"It's fine. I will go with her."

"Huh! Your call then. We'll be waiting outside the gate. Careful" - Nana

"Shall we?" We moved.

"Drive a bit slower. It's freezing."

"You can hug me!" She wrapped my hands around her waist.

To be honest, she was warm.

A rainy night, the sound of raindrops mixing with the hum of the engine as we ride, the moon breaks through the clouds, casting a soft glow on the wet streets. She slowed for a moment, intimate glance at the moonlit sky.

"Hey, look, the moon is beautiful isn't it?!" 

My heart skipped a beat. I wonder if she knew what it means because she doesn't know about anime. I leaned on her back pretending I didn't hear any. 

"I wish these roads would never end."

A soft, velvety murmur that wraps around you like a gentle breeze in the dark.

Eventually we reached the school gate. Nana and Alice were waiting there.

"Call me when you reach home."  

"Ok take care."  I sent her off and went inside. 

She bought me some food, had them and hit the bed. Almost slept sad because the others had fried rice without me. They insisted to have something lite. I received a call from Rimma. She asked me if I need anything  and told me take off to work next day. I knew right away it already started spreading like Covid.

*phone rings* I took the call eyes closed.

"Hello"

"Oi!"  I knew the voice.

"Hmm" 

"Did you eat? How are you feeling now?"

"Yes. Better than before."

"Ok where are they?"

"In the canteen."

"Will you able to be at work tomorrow?"

"Nope. They told me to take off already."

"That's good. I was about to say the same. You should rest. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Wait."

"Yes."

"Why did you do all these?"

"Well you are not the person who asks for a favor. I understood that you are really suffering."

"How come your parents let you get out at that time? It's was around 9.30p.m"

"My father understood that you are important to me."

"You did it because it was me or..... What would you do if it was someone else?"

"I will make sure that they get pills from someone there. That's the best I will do."

"What if it was your best friend?"

"The same. I did it because it's you."

"I am asking why?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to see you for that moment." 

"Reira, Be straight. What am I to you?"

"I... uh!... You are my... friend!"

"Fuck off. You just told me you wouldn't do that to your friends."

"Uhh! I don't know how to put it.  Maybe more than friend?!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Uhhh" (awkward silence)

"Have you ever been on a date with a girl?"

"What?! No. Never thought of it."

"Attracted towards them."

"Nope." (not until I met you)

"Do you remember when our colleague, Diya invited us to her marriage?"

"Yeah. Why brings that now?"

"That day when said that if pretty all women gets married soon what would I do."

"And I stopped you. You should not say that in front of everyone."

"Only you were there. Were you jealous?"

"Yeah What if I'm?"

"Jealousy over a friend uhh???"

"Uhhh!! Ah!! Then you tell me. Why you said that you admire me on that when I was practicing?"

"Yeah because I did."

"What!"

"I just speak my mind." 

"I know that much but this... doesn't sound you."

"Why should you be the one who flirts?"

"Am I?"

"Of course you are. Even Nanas can say that."

"Ok I agree."

"To which statement?"

"I am into you."

"In which way?"

"In everyway."

"Are you serious about this? Hope you understand what it will cause"

"I do. My brothers were against even when I was with a boy. I know the consequences very well."

"We are just impossible together in our country."

"We can live somewhere where we can be together."

"But..."

"Relax. I will take care of those things and you. What do you say?"

End of chapter 

stay tuned.

Looking forward to your comments. 

So that I can know that you are actually reading. 

CLOSE, BUT YET FAR

As a month of monsoon, the reflection in the foggy mirror was a mere whisper, her beauty hinted at but not fully revealed. The condensation on the mirror distorts her presence, leaving behind only the impression of elegance and allure, like a figure half-remembered, fleeting and elusive. 

I stepped further out of curiosity. She drew that smiling emoji on the mirror then she realized I was watching and turned. That was the moment when all those thoughts were reversed back to where it came because it was Reira. I forgot that every staff will be wearing saree including her. I never saw her in that dress before.  

"No no no no. She is not what you think. She is just a man wrapping saree just like you." said to myself.

"Damnnn" I said aloud before realizing I was.

'Huh!!' 

"Nothing. I didn't expect to see you here since I haven't from the morning."

"Yes. I have to be there behind the stage. Just got here to fresh up a bit. How is it going for you?"

"I am with grade four performers to assist Kate."

"Guess what? I worked with her too."

"I'm not surprised."

"Haha. Peace out."

I got back to work. Took the students to the back stage as they are next. I saw her guiding the kids. Someone out there doesn't fit to the environment. I asked about her to Reira.

"Hey!! Who's she ? The girl in blue."

"Her father owns our institution. Why you wanna know? Is she your type?"

"Nah."

"How do I look?"

"That looks more like a man struggling to put on a saree than a woman wearing one!"

With a dramatic gasp, she placed a hand over her heart, feigning offense as her lips pursed in a playful pout.

"Peace out." I left.

It was a long day. After sending all the kids along with their parents verified, I left to the room. Since it was the weekend knowing that I will be free on the next day. She called me instead of text. I am not much of a call person still.

"Hello! What are you doing?"

"Just lying down on the bed."

"Great! We can talk all day then."

"Seriously bruh, don't you have a boyfriend to do that?" 

She went quite for a while.

"Hit the nerve I guess. What happened?"

"I had. We were together for 6 years from grade 11. I told my family about him. My brothers were against us. I did everything to keep him but he gave up on me like I was nothing to him."

"It's ok. Shit happens."

"There is one thing that constantly repeats in my head. He said that he never should have been with me. Now I hate all men because of him."

"Yeah I hate them too. You know what? There's no bond greater than two woman hates the same thing."

"I agree." She turned back to herself.

"What about you? Do you have any?"

"Nope."

"Yeah. I know. No one would dare to if you rebuke like that on the very first meet."

"Then why are you here?"

"Well, My mom used to say if someone's hurting you for no reason just think how much they must have been hurt inside? We never know what they went through."

"Optimistic."

"Sometimes yes. Ok dad is back home. I'll text you later." 

"Ok bye."

Finally I am gonna attend real class from Monday onwards. I had no clue about which class I was gonna handle. On Monday morning I got my schedule sheet from Rimma and rushed to the allotted class. Unexpectedly it was the same class that I took the demo. It's that kid on the font seat,

"Mam!!!" shocked.

As it was the first day we just introduced ourselves. I checked were I have to start from the next day. I was quite disappointed seeing the notebooks of the children. The previous staff has not completed the first four chapters but reported as she has done. I took this issue to the coordinator but she told me complete those chapters too. I have no problem in that but told her to keep a note on it. 

There was no seat available in the staff room on my floor. So they have allotted a table in the ground floor. I went there to rest for a bit. I saw photos stick on the table to make it easy to know whom it belongs.

I was curious that who is gonna sit next to me and guess what. It's the universe planning everything to shatter my peace. Who else it will be! Even though we haven't met until wednesday. 

Before that everyone started judging me for being quite but they didn't even try to get close to me. A lot of rumours about me spreaded and it reached Reira's ears too.

She walked towards me and sat next to me asking

"Still not getting along? People here are nearly our age. You can just be casual?!"

"No one made a move." 

"Why wouldn't you be the one first?"

"Why should I when I know none them is gonna stay?"

"Someday someone will."

"Well that some day is not in my life." I left.

Successfully survived a whole week and weekend has arrived. I was not able to see or to find time to text her. Alice gone out with her boyfriend and little Nana to her native. It was just me and the other Nana. I've done washing all the cloths. The water was cold. It made my temperature raise but I thought I was just tired and slept.

*Notification pops* I got up.

Busy? even today?

Nope. Just resting. I guess I have fever.

I passed out in between the conversation. 

*Phone rings*

"Hello"

"Hey are you ok? taken any pills?"

"No I don't have any here."

"Ask your roommates. They might have it."

"I won't."

"Listen. If you won't ask, I'll ask her myself."

She made the call right away but Nana didn't have any but told Alice to get some while she return. Meanwhile my condition became worse. Reira continuously insisted that she will come to take me to the hospital. I refused as I don't want to bother her. It was 7.p.m. still no pills. I felt so weak that couldn't able to stand. Reira sent a text again to check on me.

Hey! How are you feeling? got the pills?

No.

Do you want me to come over?

Please do. (faints sending that text.)

End of chapter 

stay tuned.

Looking forward to your comments. 

So that I can know that you are actually reading. 

SHADOWS OF DUSK

I was so damn sure that she won't show up again because no one ever would've taunt her like that. Next day I entered the class as usual expecting my senior to be there guiding the students but I found her with that girl from yesterday. 

"Good morning!" She waved her hand joyful.

"Morning everyone!" She smiled as I include her. I was not being nice to get but maybe I was a bit guilty about yesterday.

"Why are you wearing pants instead of saree?"

"I help with the choreography for the event."

"I see. So you are not teaching here?"

"I do teach Science for Grade 5. It was not the plan but I like being around kids."

"Just as I thought."

"You mean you were thinking about me."

"In your dreams. I meant you can match those kids mischievous energy."

"Hmph"

"Wanna dance with me?"

"Hell nah!"

"Then just keep your eyes on me." She winked.

She chose a popular song and hinted at the students of the class to follow her. I locked my eyes without flinching, challenging her silently. 

I envy the way she moves through life like a wild breeze—untamed, unbothered, yet never unkind. She follows her own rhythm, laughing freely, dancing without permission, and in doing so, she invites the world to do the same. To watch her is to remember that life is meant to be lived, not measured.

She extended her hand inviting me. I shook my head to refuse. She sat next to me when she was done.

The senior asked, "By the way, ."How old are you Sam?"

"I'm 22."

"I see. can you guess my age?"

"30+" (mockingly) 

She is not a typical beauty. She is fluffy, dusky skin toned yet carries an undeniable charm.

"Do I look that old to you?"

"Hey what's wrong with 40. I am 40. how do I look?" - senior 

"You are fine as wine my dear." I winked.

"I am just a year older than you, 23. I'm leaving. Will be back at noon. I'll take you on a campus tour." 

I guess my senior has something for me. Soon after she left, 

"Do you wanna ask me anything? I can see that look on your face."

"She came here for you."

"Did she tell you?"

"No. I haven't seen her for months. She was also a junior of me when she was a newbie. This is sudden. Also we spoke about you more than us". 

"Maybe you are misunderstanding the situation."

"She asked if you are being reserved with me as you are with your roommates."

"She might be curious if I have any friends here."

"Yeah. Maybe she wants to build friendship with you as you two are of the same age."

"Yes. It should be."

So tell me Sam. Do u have any problem with your roommates?"

"What? No, it's not about them. It's about me. They mostly discuss tv shows, instagram memes, movie directors and stuff that I'm not much into. I watch anime and netflix series which they don't."

"I understand. You are left out of convo then."

"Besides. I gave up on socializing as it does absolutely nothing but be a waste of time and energy."

"Do you miss your home by any chance?"

"Nope."

"You speak beyond your years, child. I don't know what you have gone through in your past but you can talk to me whenever you are ready."

"Last time when I tried, it didn't go well."

"I understand. Just remember that I am all ears."

"Sure thing."

"Now I get why she was that curious about you."

"And why?"

"You don't fit in."

"Is this a compliment or..?"

"Yes. I just mean that you are different. Come, let's get on to the job."

"Yeah"

At noon. Students left for the lunch break. I was laying on the desk out of boredom. 

"Hey! Come on wake up. There is no time for a nap." 

She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the class. While walking..

"You actually came just for this."

"Nah. I was checking all the team if they find any difficulties with the dance steps. Knowing that you are also on the same floor thought of taking you with me."

I was about to believe what she said.

"I'm kidding. Of Course I'm here just for that. I made a promise, didn't I?"

"Spare me. Just take our senior."

"I want you. She is too old for that."

"Not like me. I have joint pain already." I sighed.

"Quit nagging already." She never gets tired.

Somehow I went along with her.

"Are you investigating me?" 

"No. Not like that. I am curious about what type of people you are comfortable with." She panicked.

"Did you find anything?"

"Nothing really." 

"Don't forget to mention when you find it. I really wanna know that too." 

Her gaze changed softly. 

After checking the entire classes on the floor, she dropped me back saying.

"You can now enjoy your solitude."

She leans in, her warm breath against my ear, "Until next time."  She whispered. 

This woman is crazy. I rushed to the entrance in the evening to report for the day and leave to avoid meeting her by any chance. I sighed as I felt relieved and pulled the exit door open. 

From behind, "Looking for someone?" I'm busted.

"Yes but that someone is not you."

"Yeah I know that much already. Give me your contact." She held out her phone like fate itself had already decided—no question, only expectation. 

But I must deny it.

"Well that's not how you're supposed to ask."

''Yes it is. I don't want to give you an option to refuse because it's the weekend. I wanna touch.. Uhh! I mean I wanna be in touch with you." 

Her gaze was heavy, unblinking—brows firm, lips set, posture unyielding. A presence that did not ask, but demands. She closed in that made me hold my breath.

I gave her my contact in the end. Huh! I am such an idiot. She left waving her hand. I've gone back to my room got changed and left to the dinning hall to have tea. I've connected to my airpods listening to my favourite songs and leaned on the table for a while. I almost fell asleep then suddenly a notification got me up. My mind was still foggy. I rubbed my eyes to check who it was.

Heyy!! It's me, Rheara.

I had no idea who the hell was Rheara. I read and ignored it.

*text pops*

I just reached home, just wanted to check on you.

I realised. I am quite more comfortable in text than in person so it was easier for her to know more about me. We shared common interests in music and movies. She talked non-stop. Then, without missing a beat, she sang her favorite song again and again, each note a playful repetition that somehow made her even more endearing.

It's strange how time can transform the things we once despised—like that song I loathed when it first blared through the airwaves, its repetitive tune grating on my nerves. Yet here I am, finding a strange comfort in its familiar chords, each note now laced with nostalgia and an unexpected fondness I never could have anticipated.

Then we hung up to prepare everything for tomorrow's big day. 

*Text message to someone*
I think the girl I told you about is trying to be friends with me. Not sure what to do with her. Hope you are doing well. Looking forward to your reply.

Evening of the annual day. 

I was allotted to assist another staff who was responsible for the children of grade 4 with their costumes and makeup. I didn't notice that Rheara hadn't shown up today since I was busy. It doesn't affect me much. 

What actually did is when I entered the washroom, I saw a woman's reflection in the mirror. Her skin is kissed by the shadows of dusk. With a graceful motion, She cups her hands and lifts the cool, silken liquid to her face. The droplets scatter like fleeting stars, tracing the curve of her brow, her eyes closing as the chill whispers against her skin. Her breath deepens, and for a moment, she is both timeless and transient, as the water dances in her hands and the world holds its breath. Her reflection ripples, merging with the night, as if the water itself has become a secret she alone understands.

All these thoughts reached my mind as the water from her hand reached her face.

End of chapter 

stay tuned.

Looking forward to your comments. 

So that I can know that you are actually reading.