EXPLAINING LOVE

"I had no idea you knew each other."

"Yeah. He is like a brother to me." 

"I see. He just started talking about his breakup history. His last girlfriend left because her parents were against it."

(On that day)

He put on some music while we were helping. All the songs were misogynistic and about breakup. We took a break and tea that he arranged for us has arrived.

Sahil: Nana I have a question. I mean to everyone.

B'Nana: Yes. Feel free to ask.

Sahil: I'm just curious that why do a woman brings up family as a reason to breakup. If they know that they won't allow her, why do accept the proposal in the first place?

B'Nana: See. It's not that we say it as an excuse. You need to understand the pressure of her side too.

Sahil: How so?

B.Nana: When a woman openly declares that she has a boyfriend may face various challenges which is more intense than you think. It depends on her social, cultural, and familial background, as well as the region in which she lives. She may be seen as "rebelling" against societal norms or not conforming to traditional gender roles. Parents may pressure her to break up with her boyfriend. This may include verbal abuse, public shaming, or even physical harassment.

T'Nana: The very first thing she will lose is her basic freedom. They'll make her to quit the job and studies. Even restrict her from stepping out of home. This pressure can sometimes lead to forced or early marriages.

Sahil: I understand. I didn't mean that it's wrong. My question is why do they give hope when they already know there is no hope. They must know about their situations before hand right?

B'Nana: They do know but they believe they can convince them when the time comes.

Sahil: But in the end they choose their parents instead.

T'Nana: They will try their best before they give up.

Sahil: Is giving up your partner that easy? If so then why do you people get mad about the lyrics that berate women.

B'Nana: My argument is don't generalize it. 

Sahil: My ex used her family as an excuse to date someone else. Her love is not even true.

B'Nana: How can you say such thing about your ex. Do you think you loved her? If you did you won't bad mouth behind her back.

T'Nana: Nana, tone it down a bit.

Sahil: I'm just exposing what she did. I was left hanging with no reason given. I tried to contact her through her friends. Then she told me not to disturb her friends and she doesn't want to be with me anymore. What do you think is the reason?

B'Nana: I can't judge her until I know her side of the story.

Sahil: Why can't they fight for love?

T'Nana: They will. I know a woman who waited 9 years for her parents approval to marry her man. It also depends on how they grew up. Say for an example, if a girl from rural has migrated to a city commits with a city guy, her family circumstances will be different from the guy. Her family may not be as supportive as the guy's family does.

Sahil: Even if they are not supportive, You have to stand for your love whatever happens, right? That's what true love is. Just like that you mentioned.

B'Nana: Love cannot be defined Sir. Just because they left doesn’t mean they never loved you.

Sahil: Sam don't ignore us. Join the conversation. What's your thought on this? 

Sam: Someone once told me, "I can love you and still let you go." Maybe she left you for your sake. We never know. So I don't judge people who blames the situation to leave. 

Sahil: What is love to you?

Sam: Hmm.... To me, Love is something unconditional. You can feel that true love twice. When it is one-sided and when you let them go. When you are in a relationship, you will expect your partner to love you back, it becomes conditional.

Sahil: Damn! That's deep, but you're making it sound so casual.

Sam: (shrugging, hands in the air)

T'Nana: You have a way of making your few words unforgettable.

Sam: Also I agree with your point that one should never give up on their partner and it doesn't mean they didn't love if they left. I will cherish their memories forever. I don't judge people who blames the situation to leave. 

B'Nana: You took his side. 

Sam: Nope. What I mean is I can understand their situation but they should not give hope if they are not ready to struggle. Also love doesn’t fade or go away when things get tough. Even in difficult times your love for them remains strong. The same goes for guys. Even some guys do that.

T'Nana: Yeah! That's right. 

Sahil: Then you should not generalize men either.

Sam: I depends on their experience towards people. If they had any bad memories about men or woman, they keep their distance. Prevention is always better than cure.

Sahil: What about you? Do you have/had a boyfriend?

Sam: Nah. I'd rather prefer stage one.

Sahil: Haha. You are exceptional.

B'Nana: So Sahil. What is your conclusion now?

Sahil: Guess I shouldn't prejudge and generalize people.

B'Nana: That's good for now.

Sahil: What do you think about same gender love, Nana?

B'Nana: I'm not against it. Why? Are you seeing some guy?

Sahil: Nah. One of my cousins were in live-in with his boyfriend. I knew he will do that for long. Our family doesn't know yet. I have to decide whether to support him or not when he decides to open up.

Sam: (Nah You won't. Misogynist)

"Then we packed up stuffs and left. That's all I can recall from that day. I didn't see him after that until today at the wedding." 

"Yeah! Now I understand why he fell head over heals for you."

"Uhh! Why?"

"It's nothing. Guess what. It's almost dawn now. We spoke all night."

"Almost forgot that I'm sick and you gotta go to work today."

"Yeah, Let's have some sleep."

"Ok. Good night."

"Good night see you soon."

"?????" 

*Hung up.* 

But she knew that I won't be at work.

End of chapter 

stay tuned.

Looking forward to your comments. 

So that I can know that you are actually reading.